OMG! The truth comes out! All this time that I've been walking around the Den biff naked, sporting a softy, thinking that the Urban Panther is getting all worked up over the scenery, turns out she's just holding back a giggle.
So the male anatomy in its flaccid state is funny to look at??? Well, I guess it all depends on how you 'wear' it! I for one like to stand in front of a mirror (or whomever is willing to watch!) and make it do some pretty slick moves to the beat of some funky music. Now that is cool, not funny! And, there's also that new art form called penis puppetry that was popular a few years ago. I have to say that I am pretty good at it too! I can do the burger, the windsurfer and the elephant. I can also use it as an air guitar. Is it not rude to laugh at someone's talent?
But seriously ladies, do you truly think that penises look funny? What about ears? They look funny too. Is that why people get them pierced? Just to make them pretty?
It certainly looks like I'm going to have to pull out the big guns now! If my wedding tackle makes her laugh "Au naturel", I guess I'll just start using make-up and costumes. No worries, I won't go as far as getting a Prince Albert. My meeting with the Vasectomizer was enough!
Like always, I aim to please and am willing to make a little effort to make myself more visually pleasing to the Panther. How about you? Is there a part of your anatomy (ears, nose, boobs, skin blemishes etc) that you cover up just to please your partner? Have you gone as far as getting plastic surgery, or if not, would you?
Does the Almighty Penis need defending? I mean, it's the ALMIGHTY PENIS!!!
But to answer your questions, no, no and no.
Posted by: Brett Legree | October 06, 2008 at 06:41 AM
Brett: Yup! The Almighty Penis is a marvel of design. I'll probably make it tomorrow's post too. It literally rules the world!
Posted by: Urbane Lion | October 06, 2008 at 06:50 AM
Years ago I used to be part of a mailing list discussing military aircraft, and there was a woman who used to troll the group and stir up trouble.
One time, she was going on about how airplanes, missiles and bombs all looked like penises, and so on and so on about men and war and the like. She asked why missiles and so forth had to look like penises rather than vaginas - to which one of the guys replied, "because of aerodynamics!"
She was pretty quiet for a while...
Posted by: Brett Legree | October 06, 2008 at 07:20 AM
Brett: LMAO! BTW, what was the name of the newsletter? My buddy here is a huge fan of military aircrafts and is actually one of the advisors for the restoration of Michael Potter's F-50 Sabre
Posted by: Urbane Lion | October 06, 2008 at 09:51 AM
Lion,
It was one of the old usenet groups, alt.military.aircraft or something like that. I could find it again if you like.
Posted by: Brett Legree | October 06, 2008 at 10:09 AM
Here I was defending the naked male over on Panther's post and you go and tell me about using yours to perform puppetry and air guitar. How could she not laugh at that? Sheesh.
Posted by: XUP | October 06, 2008 at 10:42 AM
Brett: No... that's allright. He's part of the PMS society. PMS as in Plastic Modelers Society of course....
XUP: Just wanted to prove the Panther that it's not just a dangly thing. It's a multi-purpose tool!
Posted by: Urbane Lion | October 06, 2008 at 11:02 AM
flaccid state? NOT interested. i demand a lot of ATTENTION!
it's as funny as that picture you have posted.
sorry.
Posted by: Don't Tell My Mom I Know About "Richard" | October 06, 2008 at 12:14 PM
Yes, but the point should be not to bring further ridicule on your poor little master, but to give him new dignity in the Panther's eyes. I would suggest you not market him as a multi-purpose tool. You know what they say about a jack of all trades, afterall (master of none??). You need to make her love and adore him as you love and adore her womanly bits.
Posted by: XUP | October 06, 2008 at 01:35 PM
Don't tell: No worries, I think I may not have been clear enough on the subject and I'll need to to go into further details tomorrow.
XUP: May get a tattoo or something. You know, like a skull or something. Or some tribal designs. Or maybe a Harley Davidson logo. Those are always impressive and command fear!
Posted by: Urbane Lion | October 06, 2008 at 02:18 PM
What do ladies expect, anyway?
SWAGELOCK?
http://www.swagelok.com/downloads/webcatalogs/EN/MS-01-174.PDF
They should be ones to talk, though.
One might argue that their private parts are just as silly-looking as ours.
Posted by: Friar | October 06, 2008 at 09:09 PM
Lion,
Wasn't the Neet discussion enough? I do not want to wade into this territory, but okay. Just please, when I'm 102 and this is still out there on the 'net, pretend it wasn't me writing it.
Dudes' parts don't get me giggling. If I must, I shall stand in defense also. Maybe other ladies are underimpressed, but I believe the parts in question have the intended effect upon me.
On the other hand, if there were tiny dances and air guitar going on, it would be some time before I could get that image out of my head.
Sadly, it may take some time anyway. Holy moly.
Friar,
I was very frightened to click on your link. Having done so, ah hahahahahahahahaha!
Yes. I'd say that ought to do.
Regards,
Kelly
Posted by: Kelly | October 06, 2008 at 09:23 PM
Hmm, a Swagelok wiener. Have to talk with the Creator and see what she says...
Posted by: Brett Legree | October 07, 2008 at 06:24 AM
Friar/Brett: Have you guys seen the old seventies movie Flesh Gordon? A spin off the old sci-fi version with raping robots and all. Maybe something like that would avoid being laughed at.
Kelly: I could be a meanie and send you pics of myself doing the Guitar Hero thing but I do think you've had enough. So, unless I really can pick up radio signals with my titanium clip (read October 7th's post), I'll lay off genital posts for a while. Maybe until Xmas or something.
Posted by: Urbane Lion | October 07, 2008 at 07:02 AM
Lion,
Heh heh yes, I've seen that one...
Posted by: Brett Legree | October 07, 2008 at 07:10 AM
Lion,
And what better stocking stuffer could there be?
;)
Posted by: Kelly | October 07, 2008 at 07:13 AM
Kelly: Are you implying that I stuff with a stocking for extra padding purposes?
Posted by: Urbane Lion | October 07, 2008 at 11:37 AM
@Kelly
Every engineer worth their salt knows all about Swagelock! :-)
@Lion
AHHAHAHAH!
Yes, I remember the Flesh Gordon movies! (Wasn't there a "Penis-saurus" that had one cyclops eye, that maybe cartoon-character sounds when it blinked?). :-)
Posted by: Friar | October 07, 2008 at 10:05 PM
Friar: OMG! Yes! The Penisaurus! I sooo need to see that movie again! Should be able to find it on one of the torrent sites!
Posted by: Urbane Lion | October 08, 2008 at 12:59 PM