So, today the Urban Panther has been invited to be a guest writer on Annie's blog, Writer Chick Talks. The subject of her post is how today's young couples in their twenties approach relationships versus the way we approached them when we were twenty. As always, the Panther has some pretty interesting observations. As the young Lion is only 10 and hasn't really started dating yet, I can't say that I am an authority on the subject. However, I can certainly tell you all about the MAJOR differences about dating twenty some years ago and today.
Let me begin.
Dating in the eighties:
1- You make plans with other male friends to go out to the 'IN' place to try and 'pick up some chicks'. Not looking for long term here; just 1 night. Or, if she's really hot, 1 month max before you hand her over to one of your buddies.
2- You shower. Blow dry your mullet, splash on a couple of ounces of Hai Karate cologne, iron your best looking pastel shirt and put on your platform shoes.
3- Invite your friends over for a bottle of $3.00 wine just to get that slight buzz that will lower your inhibitions AND the bar bill.
4- Get to the bar and start stalking. Decide who is going to be wingman for the evening. The wingman will take home the ugly girl of a group to let his friends go home with the gym happy ones.
5- Make sure that if the girl you have spotted is accompanied by some friends, you have enough male friends to go around. Girls don't like to leave a friend behind.
6- Go home, have fun and hopefully when you both get up in the morning she will do the dishes while you run to the store to get some breakfast fixings.
7- Repeat step 1
Yes, back then we were pretty careless and selfish. HIV did not exist and all you were looking for was to add another notch to your belt. Life was uncomplicated. Men were pretty much all the same and women weren't as complicated as today.
Now, I got married at 25 and separated from my wife at 40. Amazing how the world can change in 15 years! Just when I thought I was ready to date again, my fellow co-workers (who were in their early twenties) gave me the low down. Apparently I was in no shape to date in today's world. I ended up feeling like The 40 Year Old Virgin! But fear not, they were going to fix me up! First of all, firm up those muscles! So, here I go to the gym to firm things up a bit. Second, shave my chest! OMG, that is sooo not going to happen! Luckily, after a quick survey of female co-workers, turns out that my chest was deemed very sexy (for a forty year old!) and shaving it was ruled out, thank God!
But.... don't put that Bic shaver away yet. Seems that today's women like nice smooth er...huevo rancheros. As none of my female colleagues were interested in another survey, I decided to swallow my pride and bite the bullet. But, there was no way I was going to put a razor blade anywhere near my manjigglies! Hot wax was out of the question also, so I decided to try Neet. Oh my God! The pain I went through was atrocious! Worse than giving birth, I'm sure! I thought my family jewels were going to melt away! Didn't even do a very good job either. After a week of healing I finally resolved myself to use a razor. Finally got the hang of it. Ladies.... please tell me that it's worth it!
OK, the pastel shirts have gone the same route as the platform shoes and the 8 track tapes. But, I had the new look down pat. Now, all I was missing was an opportunity to meet some women. Most of my colleagues were in their early twenties so no luck there. Although I am not very shy, approaching women has never been easy for me, and it just seems that today's bars are either filled with very young women or older women that are single for a very good reason. Which left online dating. I will not go into much details about my experiences with the online dating thing. I will leave that for a future post. I will say, however, that you have to sort through a lot of chaff before you find a gem. Luckily for me.... I found mine!
So, here's a break down of dating twenty years later:
1- You shower. Gel up your short hair, splash on some Armani and put on a tight T-shirt (aren't you happy you go to the gym!). Shoes and pants are not required.
2- Pour yourself a glass of $20 wine.
3- Log on to your favorite online dating site and start searching.
4- Select someone you like and start chatting to see if you can catch her in a lie. If you turn on the webcam just remember you're not wearing any pants!
5- Agree to meet.
6- Have her move in and start some dueling blogs!
Much simpler today don't you think?
Recent Comments